This post examines Law 13 of 48 Laws of Power – When Asking for Help, Appeal to People’s Self-Interest, Never to Their Mercy or Gratitude. Here you will learn practical strategies and techniques to make your requests more compelling and persuasive.
Unlock the key to getting your needed support by understanding what motivates others. Boost your success in personal and professional relationships with this valuable insight. Here’s what this law is all about:
If you need to turn to an ally for help, do not bother to remind him of your past assistance and good deeds. He will find a way to ignore you. Instead, uncover something in your request or your alliance with him that will benefit him and emphasize it out of all proportion. He will respond enthusiastically when he sees something to be gained for himself.
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Why Appeal to Self-Interest When Asking for Help?
In your epic quest for power, you’ll often find yourself in the sticky situation of seeking help from those even more powerful than you. And let me tell you, there’s an art to asking for help – a skill that requires you to be a mastermind at understanding the folks you’re dealing with and not getting tangled in your desires.
Now, here’s the real deal – most people flop at this, and you know why? They’re totally stuck in their own little world of wants and cravings. They start assuming that the people they’re asking for help have some saintly interest in lending a hand. Oh, they go on and on about their needs, hoping for divine intervention! But truth be told, these influential people couldn’t care less about your needs. No, seriously!
Here’s where they mess up big time – they bring out the big guns! Talking about grand emotions, like love and gratitude, or preaching about some colossal cause. But let me tell you something: these powerhouses aren’t moved by all that fluff. They live in the real world, and simple, every day realities tickle their fancy way more.
See, even the most influential person is human, just like you and me. They got their own needs and desires locked up inside them. So, if you ain’t making a solid case for their self-interest, they’ll see you as either desperate or a total waste of their precious time.
When you need help, leave the drama at the door and forget about the sob stories. Instead, speak their language – appeal to what makes them tick. Show ’em how helping you out will benefit them too.
It’s like a dance of mutual interests. You scratch their back, and they’ll scratch yours. That’s the secret to unlocking the power of asking for help from the big shots!
Most men are so thoroughly subjective that nothing interests them but themselves. They always think of their own case as soon as any remark is made, and their whole attention is engrossed and absorbed by the merest chance reference to anything which affects them personally, be it never so remote.
ARTHUR SCHOPENHAUER
What’s Behind Self-Interest?
Dealing with others is like stepping into a new world, like visiting Mars. They have their own history and vibes, and you’re just there like, ‘Whoa, what’s happening?’
But guess what? You can break through those crazy differences by hitting them where it counts – their self-interest! Boom! Don’t play it cool or be subtle like, ‘Hey, let’s be friends.’ No, no, no!
Tell ’em, ‘Hey, I’m gonna fill your pockets with gold, baby! Ka-ching!’ Who doesn’t want some extra cash, right? But wait, there’s more! You’ll make ’em live longer and happier. You’re like a happiness guru on a mission!
And guess what? That’s a universal language. Every single one of us gets it. It’s like the secret handshake of success! So, next time you’re talking to someone, remember it’s all about appealing to their self-interest.
Understand Other People’s Psychology
Self-interest is the secret sauce that’ll get folks moving! When you show ’em how to make their dreams come true or boost them, their resistance will vanish into thin air, like poof!
Now, pay attention, ’cause this is big! If you wanna climb that ladder to power, you gotta be a mind ninja! Get inside the other person’s head, feel what they feel, and understand what makes ’em tick. Forget about your emotions clouding the picture; it’s all about seeing the truth!
Once you master this art, there’s no stopping you! The world is your oyster, and the possibilities are endless! Here are vital psychological factors you may want to check out:
Vanity
Oh, we all know a few vain folks, right? They love the spotlight and crave admiration like it’s oxygen. So, when dealing with them, show appreciation for their power, talents, and hard work. But here’s the catch – be genuine! Flattery won’t get you far; they’ll see right through it!
Reputation and Social Standing
Some people care about their rep and what others think of ’em. Respect that, and be mindful of what you say. Keep their sensitive stuff on the down-low, and give ’em props to boost their public image. That’s how you build that trust!
Enemies and Allies
Ah, the world of alliances and rivalries! Some folks are all about that life. So, find common ground, team up against a shared enemy, and watch that bond grow stronger! It’s all about building bridges and breaking down walls!
Money and Power
When it comes to money and power, some people are all in! So, show ’em how your ideas can line their pockets or boost their authority. They’re all ears when you talk about tangible gains and taking charge!
A Lesson from Genghis Khan and Yelu Ch’u-Ts’a
So, back in the day, the Mongols swooped in on China like it was nobody’s business. Genghis Khan, their leader, saw the place as just some horse-grazing land, and he was like, “Hey, let’s wipe ’em out and let the grass grow!”
But hold up, it wasn’t all doom and gloom! In comes this dude, Yelu Ch’u-Ts’ai, who wasn’t even from China himself. He saw the beauty of Chinese culture and was like, “Nah, we can’t let this go to waste!” So, he did what any intelligent guy would do – he became Khan’s trusted adviser, like his wingman in the crazy world of conquest!
Ch’u-Ts’ai had a plan involving appealing to Khan’s love for riches. He told him, “Listen, man, instead of destroying everything, let’s tax ’em all! Cha-ching, baby!” And you know what? Khan saw the dollar signs, or the gold coins, in his eyes and said, “Yeah, that sounds like a pretty sweet deal!”
Now, here’s where it gets fascinating. When Khan took over Kaifeng, a city that put up a fight, he was all set to go on a massacre spree, like he did in other places. But Ch’u-Ts’ai was like, “Wait a minute! Kaifeng has got the best craftsmen and engineers in the land! Let’s put ’em to work, and we can get even more riches!” Genius move, right?
And guess what? Khan actually listened! This guy Ch’u-Ts’ai knew his audience. Khan was all about the war and getting results, so the way to his heart was through his wallet, not his conscience. Greed saved the day!
So there you have it, folks! A tale of wisdom, cunning, and the power of knowing what makes people tick – even if they’re fierce conquerors! It’s all about finding the right button to push, and Ch’u-Ts’ai had that game on lock!
Reversal
Some people don’t wanna hear anything about self-interest; they see it as ugly and beneath ’em. They’d instead put on their superhero capes and show off their charity, mercy, and love for justice! They wanna feel like they’re on top of the world and better than you, ya know?
So, when you come around asking for help, it’s like an ego boost for ’em. They say, “Yeah, I got the power, and you need my help!” That’s their thing, and they’re lovin’ it!
They’re all about doing good deeds but with a twist! It’s gotta be grand, it’s gotta be public, and it’s gotta make ’em look like rockstars! They’re just craving that intoxicating wine of feeling superior!
But here’s the deal, folks – not everyone’s gonna buy into that cynical self-interest approach. Some people don’t wanna be seen as motivated by all that stuff. They’re all about showin’ their good heart, and they wanna do it in a way that shines!
So, when you’re making moves, know your audience! Some will go nuts over self-interest, while others need a different tune to dance to. Keep it real and genuine, and find the perfect melody for each person you meet!