This article is about Law 2: Never Put Too Much Trust In Friends, Learn How To Use Enemies from the book 48 Laws of Power. Here you will learn how your friends can restrain your power and how you can use adversaries to your advantage. Here’s the summary of the law:
Be wary of friends-they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy, and he will be more loyal than a friend because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them.
48 Laws of Power
Should You Trust Your Friends?
Yes, you should trust your friends but only to some extent. It’s natural to want to reach out to a friend when you’re feeling lost. The world is harsh, and it can be hard to navigate alone. You know them, you know their strengths, and they are your friends. Why go with a stranger when you have someone that you can trust?
We often put our friends on a pedestal and overlook their flaws, and that’s why it is hard to tell if they’re being honest. They may sometimes agree with you to avoid an argument and avoid offending each other.
Since trust is usually lost when friends are honest, you can never tell how your friends feel about you. Friends may tell you they appreciate your poetry, music, or style, but they probably aren’t being sincere.
It’s always important to focus on hiring people with the skills and knowledge necessary for the job. Friends often lack these skills, and in the end, it will only limit your power.
Maintaining some level of separation between coworkers is essential in any professional setting. The issue with working alongside friends is that it muddles the distances and boundaries needed to get things done.
Focusing on getting things done instead of making friends would be best. Any display of friendliness will only serve to distract from your efforts.
The key to success is judging who would be the best person to successfully complete the job. Friends should be kept for friendship, and professional collaboration should be limited to those who can add value.
However, you can still use your friend to great advantage if you are both aware of the dangers involved. It’s vital to maintain your guard and watch for any behavior that indicates distress.
Be on the lookout for symptoms of envy and ingratitude, as these are common in power relationships. Power is unstable in any venture, so you must not let your guard down or trust anybody too soon.
Why Do Friends Betray Friends?
Jealousy and ingratitude are the most common reasons why friends betray friends. Hiring a friend is a great way to give you an idea of what type of person they are. Ironically, your good deed throws the whole system out of whack. Humans crave validation that their achievements result from their hard work and intellect.
The danger of being on the receiving end of favors is knowing that you were picked simply because of your friendship rather than your competence. When you hire friends, it’s almost like you’re being condescending, which hurts your friend in secret.
Your friend’s disdain will seep out gradually: a bit more honesty, occasional flashes of hatred and jealousy, and soon you will start losing that friend. The more help and gifts you give to keep a friendship alive, the less appreciation you will get in return.
To have a good enemy, choose a friend: He knows where to strike.
DIANE DE POITIERS, , 1499-1566, MISTRESS OF HENRI II OF FRANCE
How to Use Enemies to Your Advantage
Your enemies are undiscovered treasures that you must learn to mine. Abraham Lincoln, a famous US President, once asked, “do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?”
Try to work with people who argue against you on any critical decisions. While your friends grow increasingly demanding and envious, an old enemy will stop at nothing to show his loyalty. A person who feels they have something to prove is the type who will go the extra mile for you. These old enemies can eventually turn into some of your closest allies.
Without enemies to fight, we get lazy, and having an enemy close behind keeps us on our toes and ready for action. Therefore, trying to turn your enemies into friends or allies is not always in your best interest. Instead, it is sometimes preferable to embrace your enemies as enemies.
Never be agitated by the existence of your enemies. Knowing that you have at least one or two open enemies is preferable to being in the dark about your real enemies. A powerful man likes to fight and uses his enemies to establish his reputation as a skilled fighter who can be counted on when it matters most.
Know how to use your enemies for your own profit. You must learn how to grab a sword not by its blade, which could cut you, but by the handle, which allows you to defend yourself. The wise man profits from his enemies than a fool from his friends.
Baltasar Gracian
Reversal for Never Put Too Much Trust In Friends
A friend may be more valuable than an adversary in some circumstances. People with power often have shady dealings that need to be executed; it’s better for their reputation if they get someone else to do the dirty work.
Friends are the best at this since they care about you and are prepared to dirty their hands. And if things don’t go as planned, your friend makes for an easy scapegoat.
Many rulers and politicians employed this so-called “fall of the favorite” tactic. They would let a mistake be blamed on their closest friend in court, and the general public would never imagine that they would willingly put their friend in harm’s way for such a reason.
Remember: playing the scapegoat card is a risky move, so it’s best to use that strategy on someone who is close to you but not too close.
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