This article explores Law 46: Never Appear Too Perfect from the 48 Laws of Power book. Let’s face it: the world we live in today is super competitive. We see pictures of people who look absolutely perfect all the time. And guess what? It makes us feel like we have to be perfect, too.
But here’s the problem: trying to be perfect is like carrying the world’s weight. It’s challenging and puts so much pressure on you. Plus, it keeps you away from others. People start feeling jealous resentful, and might even secretly wish you fail.
This article unveils the incredible power of accepting your imperfections. Instead of worrying about making others jealous, this guide encourages you to showcase your occasional quirks and admit to harmless habits. Doing so can push envy aside, become more relatable and down-to-earth, and ultimately forge deeper connections with people.
Law 46: Never Appear Too Perfect
Appearing better than others is always dangerous, but the most dangerous is appearing to have no faults or weaknesses. Envy creates silent enemies. It is wise to occasionally display defects and admit to harmless vices to deflect envy and appear more human and approachable. Only gods and the dead can seem perfect with impunity.
Robert Greene
Key Insights
Why You Must NOT Look Too Perfect
When you intentionally let your imperfections peek through, magic happens. Why? When you show you’re not perfect, folks find you relatable, like that favorite neighbor next door.
No more green-eyed monsters lurking around because they’re less likely to see you as a threat. It’s like building friendships in easy mode!
Why Feeling Inferior Can Be Tough
Ever feel a bit down when someone’s better than you at something? When we see someone really good at stuff, it makes us question our own skills.
Many of us are proud of ourselves, which is excellent! But when someone outshines us, it can feel like a little punch to our pride and make us sad.
This feeling of not being as good as we thought doesn’t just go away. It stirs up some not-so-nice emotions, and that’s not fun.
Envy Is A Weed That Should Not Be Watered
Sometimes, we look at someone else and think, “I wish I could do what they do.” That’s called jealousy, and it can make us feel not-so-great. But jealousy doesn’t make us happy; we usually keep it a secret.
Why? Showing jealousy is like saying, “I feel not as good as you,” and that’s not something we want to admit. So, we hide our jealousy in tricky ways. We might secretly discuss our wishes with our close friends, but we won’t say, “I’m jealous.” Nope, we keep it hidden. We have sneaky ways to hide it.
We might say things like, “They’re smarter, but they aren’t nice,” or we might think they cheat to be better. Sneaky, right? And if we’re feeling really tricky, we might say lots of good things about them, but deep down, it’s just jealousy in disguise!
Mastering Envy: Turn It into Your Secret Superpower
Yep, envy is that sneaky emotion that can mess things up if you don’t handle it right. But don’t fret. We’ve got strategies to help you out:
Acknowledge the Competition: Admit it, there’ll always be folks who are better at something. And you might just envy them a tad. No biggie.
Channel That Envy: Instead of letting it eat you up from the inside, use envy as fuel. Turn it into a driving force to push yourself even harder, aiming to match or surpass them someday.
Expel the Poison: When you let envy out, it becomes a rocket to help you reach new heights. Share your goals, compete healthily, and let envy be your motivator, not your downfall.
Spotting the Two-Faced Snake: Envy’s Disguises Revealed
Some folks below might secretly feel jealous as you move up, even if they don’t say it. But don’t be fooled by their act! Keep an eye out for these signs:
Criticism: When they say negative things, it might be because they’re secretly jealous. Those constantly criticizing you or spreading slander might be envious. Their behavior is a sneaky way to express their jealousy.
Too Much Praise: Watch out if someone’s showering you with non-stop praise! It’s often a red flag that they envy you. They might set you up for a tragic fall or sharpen their metaphorical blades behind your back.
Sarcastic Remarks: Those snarky comments could be hiding envy.
Backstabbing: Watch out for friends turning into foes; envy can do that.
The Look of Resentment: That angry stare might actually be envy in disguise.
The key is to spot envy before it causes trouble. When you see these behaviors, recognize them as disguised envy. Don’t fall into the trap of mudslinging or taking their criticisms too seriously. Instead, win by rising above their petty actions and ignoring their negativity.
The Envy Trap: How to Protect Yourself
When people envy you, they might work against you without knowing it. They’ll put roadblocks in your path, sneaky ones you can’t see coming or trace back to them.
Here’s the tricky part: Defending against these hidden attacks is tough. And by the time you figure out that envy is the root cause, it’s often too late. Your excuses, acting overly modest, or trying to protect yourself can worsen things.
So, here’s the scoop: It’s way easier to prevent envy in the first place than to try and fix it later. You can do this by being aware of your actions and qualities that might make others jealous. By being mindful, you can stop envy before it becomes a big problem.
Remember, it’s about staying ahead of the game and keeping those envy teeth from nibbling away at your success!
Are You Making Others Jealous Without Realizing It?
Let’s talk about two kinds of people:
The Braggers: You know these folks. When something good happens to them, they can’t stop talking about it. They enjoy making others feel small.
The Unintentional Jealousy Sparks: Some don’t mean to make others jealous but still do it without realizing it. This often happens to people with natural talent.
The braggers are easy to spot, and they might not change. But the unintentional jealousy sparks should be more careful about how they affect others.
Jealousy can be a problem, especially for those with special skills. So, the lesson is to be aware of how your actions can affect people around you.
Avoiding Envy: How to Handle Sudden Success
When your luck takes a surprising turn, like getting a sudden promotion or achieving an unexpected victory, it’s almost guaranteed to make your old pals jealous.
Take the story of Archbishop de Retz in 1651. When he got promoted to cardinal, he knew that many of his former colleagues were green with envy. But he was no fool. Instead of pushing them away, he did something clever.
De Retz played down his own brilliance and talked up how lucky he was. He acted humble and polite like nothing had changed (even though he had more power). He said this made people envy him less.
So, here’s the trick: When you get a lucky break, don’t brag about it. Instead, quietly mention how fortunate you’ve been. It makes others feel like they can be happy, too, and envy won’t be such a big problem.
The Right Way to Play True Humility Game
When trying to be humble about your success, make sure it doesn’t come off as fake. People can spot that from a mile away, making them more jealous.
The key is to be humble and open with those you’ve left behind. If you pretend too much, it’ll backfire, making your new status seem even more oppressive.
Remember: Don’t push your old pals away even if you’ve climbed the ladder. Power needs a strong foundation of support; envy can sneak in and destroy it silently.
Don’t Look Too Ambitious
When you’ve got political power, it tends to make people jealous. But there’s a trick to avoid that jealousy – don’t seem too eager for power.
Look at Boris Godunov. When he could have ruled Russia, he didn’t jump at the chance. He said “no” a few times and made others say, “Yes, you should be our leader.”
George Washington did the same thing. He said “no” to being a big army leader and later to being the president. Guess what? People liked him even more!
Why? People don’t get jealous when you act like you don’t really want power. They’re the ones who give it to you, and that’s a good thing.
Pity for Power: Make It Look Like It’s A Burden
According to Sir Francis Bacon, a smart move for those in power is to act like their responsibilities are an enormous burden and a sacrifice.
Think about it this way: Who envies someone who carries a heavy load for the public good? If you disguise your power as a form of self-sacrifice rather than something that makes you happy, it seems less desirable to others.
Here’s a twist: If you emphasize your challenges and troubles, you can turn potential envy into something better—pity and support.
Another trick is to hint that your good luck will benefit everyone around you. People are less likely to be jealous if you act like your power is a big sacrifice and talk about your problems. They might even feel sorry for you or see you as someone helping them.
Small Flaws, Big Gains: Winning the Battle Against Envy
To keep envy at bay, here’s a clever idea. Let a slight weakness or harmless vice show if you’re in a position of power. Give those who envy you something small to focus on so they won’t pay attention to your more critical “sins.”
But remember, it’s the reality that truly matters. You might need to play with appearances, but in the end, you’ll have what’s essential: real power.
In some Arab countries, folks avoid making others jealous by keeping their wealth hidden inside their homes. Apply this wisdom to your own character. Let a tiny flaw or indulgence show so others don’t fixate on your bigger achievements or qualities.
Envy Alert: When to Keep Your Distance
When you think someone’s jealous of you, don’t rush to help or do them favors. They might see it as you talking down to them. Once you see envy for what it is, it’s often best to step away from those folks. Let them deal with their own feelings.
When you sense envy, sometimes the most brilliant thing is giving them space and letting them handle their emotions.
Choosing Your Battleground: Envy’s Secret Hideouts
Envy thrives in certain places more than others. It gets serious when dealing with colleagues and peers, especially when you’re all supposed to be equals.
Envy can also be a big problem in democratic settings where showing off your power is a no-no. So, in those situations, you’ve got to be extra careful.
Here’s a real-life example: Filmmaker Ingmar Bergman got hassled by Swedish tax authorities because he stood out in a country where being different isn’t appreciated. In cases like that, avoiding envy can be almost impossible. But don’t take it personally.
As Thoreau once said, “Envy is the tax all distinction must pay.” It’s just a part of life when you’re standing out in certain places, and there’s not much you can do except handle it gracefully.
Turning the Tables: Using Envy to Your Advantage
Once envy’s in the picture, whether it’s your fault or not, sometimes the best move is to do the opposite. Show total disregard for those who envy you.
Instead of hiding your excellence, flaunt it. Let every new success be a chance to watch the envious folks squirm. Your success and power will become their personal torment.
And if you reach a point of unassailable power, their envy won’t even touch you. You’ll have the ultimate revenge: They’re stuck in jealousy while you’re free in your power.