This page is about Law 12 – Use Selective Honesty and Generosity to Disarm Your Victim from the book 48 Laws of Power. Here’s the deal. This guide I’m about to throw your way is packed with some pretty crafty tricks. Some might say they’re a bit sly, so you must promise to play nice, okay?
The whole point of me writing this thing up isn’t to turn you into some manipulative mastermind. Nope. I’m here to give you the low-down on how this Law works its magic, so if someone tries to pull a fast one on you, you’ll be ready.
You must understand some plays in this playbook are amoral. You can use them for good, or they could get murky – depending on who’s at the wheel.
Law 12: Use Selective Honesty and Generosity to Disarm Your Victim
One sincere and honest move will cover dozens of dishonest ones. Open-hearted gestures of honesty and generosity bring down the guard of even the most suspicious people. Once your selective honesty opens a hole in
their armor, you can deceive and manipulate them at will. A timely gift – a Trojan horse – will serve the same purpose.
Key Points
Distraction Powers Deception
You must understand that deception is all about mastering the art of distraction. You need to divert other people’s attention like a magician with a fancy trick up his sleeve. These are your power tools for distraction:
- Act of kindness,
- Generosity
- Honesty
When you use these tactics, people tend to become very receptive. Any doubts they may have had disappear quickly, just like a diet on Thanksgiving.
It’s like you’ve given them a one-way ticket back to being kids again, eyes all wide and shining, ready to gulp down any spoonful of sweetness you’re serving. You toss them a candy – an affectionate gesture, and boom! They’re hooked, eating right out of your hand.
The Art of Giving Before Taking
In ancient China, they had a slick term called “giving before you take.”
This power move is about setting up a favorable dynamic for future interactions. The idea is that by giving first—be it a physical gift, a favor, a compliment, or an act of kindness—you put the other person in a position where they feel more inclined to reciprocate when you ask something of them later.
It exploits the power of reciprocity, a fundamental principle in social psychology. When someone does something for us, we often feel a strong psychological urge to return the favor.
This strategy is like a Swiss army knife – it’s got an endless number of practical uses. It’s the all-you-can-eat buffet of tricks. Master the art of giving before you take because it makes deception run smoother. It cushions the landing, dulls the sting of an incoming favor, and can be your secret weapon of mass distraction.
Giving ain’t just about pulling out your wallet. No, it’s got more flavors than a bag of Skittles – it could be a natural gift, or you are going out of your way to do something nice. It could be that favor you do for a friend when you didn’t want to or an “honest” confession.
Selective Honesty
Selective honesty is carefully choosing when and where to be honest to manipulate perceptions and outcomes. This tactic involves using honesty to disarm people and gain their trust. The theory is that if you’re known for being honest in certain instances, people are likelier to believe you’re honest in all cases.
It’s incredible how one honest action can outweigh many deceitful ones. This can help build trust, which, unfortunately, can also be manipulated to deceive others.
When to Use Selective Honesty
You must serve selective honesty on your first encounter. Because we’re all just creatures of habit, running on autopilot half the time. And those first impressions? They stick around longer than you can imagine.
If you can get someone to buy your honesty ticket right at the start of your relationship, it’s like they’ve signed up for a long-term subscription. And it would take a whole lot of drama, like a daytime soap opera, to convince them to cancel that subscription.
Build a Reputation for Honesty
One act of honesty ain’t going to cut it. That’s like going to the gym once and expecting a six-pack! You need a reputation for honesty, something built brick by brick.
However, the bricks don’t necessarily have to be large cinder blocks. They can be as small and insignificant as Lego pieces. Once you have established a reputation for honesty, it resembles a sturdy Jenga tower. Once it is stable, it can be challenging to bring it down.
The Power of Generosity
Learn to use generosity like a pro. Seriously, who can resist a good gift? You’ll still unwrap it even if it’s from your sworn enemy, right? It’s the perfect strategy to disarm people. It’s like using a universal remote to switch off their suspicion mode.
A gift has this crazy power to teleport us back to being little kids on Christmas morning. Our guards are down faster than a dropped ice cream cone in summer. That innocence makes even a grumpy old man break into a wide grin.
Often, we find ourselves scrutinizing the actions of others, don’t we? Our level of cynicism is high, and we’re suspicious of every move as if we’re in an episode of CSI.
But gifts often deceive us with their attractive wrapping and decorations. However, we may not realize that hidden ulterior motives or tricks could be involved, like a sneaky ninja catching us off guard.
Selective Kindness
The basic idea is to strategically use acts of kindness to gain an advantage or disarm those who might oppose you. It s about being kind to people when it serves your purpose. You’re not just kind for the sake of being a good person but because it benefits you in some way.
With selective kindness, you’re not going for the kill. You’re aiming right for the heart. This move melts away your enemy’s will to fight back.
Like any big emotional play, this one comes with a ‘Handle With Care’ sign. You must tread carefully because you’re in big trouble if folks see through your act.
You know how you feel when your favorite character gets killed off in your favorite TV show? Yeah, that’s how they’ll feel – a mix of heartbreak, betrayal, and rage. Their warm and fuzzy feelings? They’ll switch into Hulk mode faster than you can imagine.
So unless you’ve got an Oscar-winning performance of sincerity and heartfelt emotion, don’t play with this method.
This Strategy Won’t Work When…
When you’ve got a long, winding trail of trickery and deceit behind you, no amount of honesty, generosity, or kindness will clean that up. It’s like trying to cover up a skunk’s smell with a splash of cologne – it will make it stink even more.
So if you think you can fool people with a sudden change of heart, let me tell you – that’s about as subtle as a marching band in a library. You’re not fooling anyone. Sometimes your history speaks louder than your actions, and it’s not afraid to spill the beans.
If people have labeled you as a cunning fox, changing your behavior to that of a noble lion will only draw more attention and suspicion. It’s like a cat suddenly barking – it’s just plain weird.
In these cases, it might be better to embrace your flaws because attempting to be something you’re not will not fool anyone. When you’re in a hole, sometimes the best move is to stop digging.
The Trojan Horse – One Gift That Ended Years of Fighting
So, the Greeks and Trojans have been at it for ten long years, locked in a stalemate. The Greeks have thrown everything at the towering walls of Troy, but they can’t crack them open. Then, some bright spark in the Greek camp hatches a genius, if slightly nutty, plan.
They get their hands dirty and build a whacking giant wooden horse, stuffing it full of their most brutal soldiers. They then park this horse at Troy’s front door and do a runner, pretending they’ve thrown in the towel, leaving the horse as a sorry-for-the-hassle gift to Athena, their goddess.
The Trojans, thinking they’ve finally given the Greeks the boot, haul the monster horse into their city, thinking it’s some victory bling. But, oh boy, are they in for a surprise!
As the city sleeps, the sneaky Greeks inside the horse slip out. They swing open the city gates for their buddies, who’ve sneaked back under the blanket of night, and boom! Troy fell just like that.
This super slick move went down in history as the ultimate trickster play. It’s a great example of where giving a gift can lower defenses and lead to downfall.