This article is about 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do summary. Whether you’re a homemaker, high-flying CEO, soldier, or teacher, this book will equip you with the tools to master your mental strength.
Written by Amy Morin, this book is packed with revolutionary and groundbreaking strategies to help you unleash your full potential and become a true mental warrior. So if you’re ready to transform your mindset and take your life to the next level, this book summary is your go-to guide!
Table of Contents
Should I Read 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do?
Yes. Amy Morin’s advice is designed to help you shift your perspective and approach to life’s challenges. Instead of dwelling on self-pity and feeling sorry for yourself, you’ll learn to view failures as learning experiences that can help you grow and become a better person. By embracing this mindset, you’ll be able to find more inner peace and contentment in your life.
How Do I Become Mentally Strong?
Mental strength is about controlling your emotions, being disciplined with your thoughts, and staying positive. We all have different levels of mental strength, which can be influenced by our genetics, character, and life experiences.
While you can’t change your DNA, there are three things you can do to improve your character and how you handle adversity:
- Thoughts – Try replacing ideas that don’t make sense with those that do.
- Behaviors – Take the initiative to resolve issues, confront your anxieties, and work efficiently.
- Emotions – Feelings don’t control you; you control them.
Being mentally strong doesn’t mean you have to hide your emotions or always be brave. It’s okay to ask for help and feel your feelings.
13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do Summary
Mental strength involves being realistic and logical about life. Pursuing mental fortitude has been a standard recommendation from therapists for decades.
1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves
Do you feel too sorry for yourself sometimes? Do you think that only you have problems and no one else can understand? Do you always feel like you’re being mistreated? Some people use self-pity to make others feel bad for them or avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
Self-pity can lead to a pessimistic attitude and make you forget the good things in life. People with mental strength don’t feel sorry for themselves and choose to stay positive. If you want to break this habit, try doing something to help others.
Give back to the community, volunteer, or take up a hobby to take your mind off things. In addition, you can:
- Keep a gratitude journal and record the many blessings in your life.
- Make a conscious effort to focus on more optimistic ideas.
- Instill an attitude of gratitude in yourself and others, including your children. Both your physical and mental health will improve.
2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power
Being mentally strong means not giving away your power to others. Letting someone else control your thoughts, feelings, or actions drains your mental strength and makes you vulnerable to negative influences.
Suppose you constantly rely on others to solve your problems or decide how you should feel. In that case, you’ll be at their mercy and can become an easy target for criticism. To be mentally strong, you need to take charge of your own life and make decisions instead of being a passive victim of circumstances.
Here are some tips to help you:
- Pay attention when blaming others or things outside you for how you feel. It’s essential to take responsibility for your feelings.
- Rework the way you express yourself. To say, “My manager makes me angry,” is incorrect, as nobody can make you feel a certain way or act a certain way.
- Don’t lose your temper when things don’t go your way. Instead, calmly deal with the problem.
- Accept constructive criticism and think it through logically.
- Realize that your life choices are voluntary and not forced upon you.
3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change
Are you afraid of making changes in your life? Do you put things off or find excuses because you’re worried that changing something might worsen?
Change can be scary, whether trying something new, starting a family, or breaking a bad habit. Going through a change usually follows a pattern of five stages:
- First, you should be made aware that changes would be beneficial.
- Then, you consider the pros and cons of making a change.
- After that, you figure out a plan to make it happen.
- Next, you actually take action.
- Finally, you stick with the change and do whatever is needed to keep it going, even if there are bumps in the road.
Many people are content to stick with what they know, even if it means avoiding discomfort or nerves. But staying in the same place can leave you stagnant and like falling behind. Shake things up by coming up with a plan for trying something new.
Determine the changes you must make to achieve your short-term objective after setting it, think about any potential roadblocks, and ask someone to keep an eye on your progress and hold you accountable.
4. They Don’t Focus on Things They Can’t Control
Mentally strong people know that they can’t control everything that happens to them. How you deal with these situations depends on whether you think you’re in charge or believe you’re just a victim of fate or luck. This is called your “locus of control.” How you were raised by your parents and what you’ve experienced in life can affect how you think about this.
Even though it’s better to believe you have control over your life, it’s not always the best thing to do. Trying to control everything can make you feel alone and worried and lose confidence, and it can also take up a lot of your time and energy. It’s essential to figure out what you can control and can’t.
5. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone
If you’re constantly trying to make other people happy and making sure they don’t get upset, you might be a people pleaser. It’s not easy to stop caring about what other people say. Still, you must learn to live by your own values and opinions.
People pleasing can be damaging because you might not accurately read other people’s needs and wants. Plus, it can lead to you living a life that’s not true to yourself, and that usually won’t make you happy in the end. Rather:
- Before automatically complying with demands from others, consider what you want.
- Figure out what you really care about in life, whether your family or your career and make that your top priority.
- Resist the urge to agree to something right away, pause before responding.
- Practice speaking up for yourself so you can better handle disagreements without getting too worked up.
6. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks
Fear causes people to avoid taking chances, and fearful people often overestimate the degree of danger they face. Separate your emotions from your risk-taking decisions so that you can move forward. Be sure to focus on “evidence” rather than letting your emotions cloud your judgment when evaluating risk.
Learn to distinguish “the difference between abilities and chance” and realize that you can’t depend on other individuals to inform you of your safety or security. Think about the “rewards” and “costs” of taking a specific course of action and the consequences of either carrying it. Think about how it will change your life if you take a chance.
7. They Don’t Dwell on the Past
Mentally strong people don’t get consumed by past events. They understand that dwelling on the past can impede their progress in the present. To overcome lingering regrets or memories, it’s helpful to adopt the following strategies:
- Allocate a specific time for reflection.
- Redirect your focus to a different subject, such as your future goals.
- Reinterpret the story surrounding an unfortunate incident.
This is how you can make peace with your past:
- Accept that it’s alright to move on and concentrate on the future.
- Know how much the price of dwelling on the past is.
- Let go and forgive yourself or the one who hurt you.
- Pushing yourself to engage in activities you enjoy, even if they trigger negative memories or emotions.
- Consult with a mental health professional can aid in gaining perspective.
8. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over
Strong-minded people understand the value of reflecting on past errors to avoid repeating them. When you keep making the same mistake, achieving your goals is challenging and can hurt your relationships. To prevent this, look closely at what caused the problem and figure out what can be done differently.
Make a plan and spot signs that you’re heading down the wrong path. It’s also helpful to give yourself a pat on the back for your progress, stay focused, and come up with a list of why you want to avoid making the same mistake again. Consider your mistakes to be opportunities for personal development.
9. They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success
Sometimes, we all feel jealous when seeing someone else doing well. However, holding onto those negative feelings for a long time is not helpful. Spending too much time thinking about what others have achieved can stop us from working towards our own goals.
To avoid these negative thoughts, we can change our thinking. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, we can focus on what we want to achieve and how we can get there. We can also not judge people based on their successes or failures. We should remember that everyone has good and bad days, even those who seem to be doing well.
It’s essential to be happy for others when they succeed instead of feeling resentful. This will help us stay positive and focus on our lives rather than getting bogged down in negative thoughts.
10. They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure
Mentally strong people continue to strive for their goals despite encountering setbacks. They keep going and stay focused on their ambitions. It can be scary when you stumble, as it can make you fearful of taking risks in the future.
But to avoid this, try to look at failure differently and give yourself permission to make mistakes. Famous people like Walt Disney kept going even after they encountered difficulties. So don’t let setbacks get in your way; keep working hard, and you’ll eventually reach your goals.
11. They Don’t Fear Time Alone
Take some time to be alone and enjoy your company, even if it seems everyone else is always busy or socializing. Spending time alone can be good for your mind and mood, no matter how old you are. It can help you do better work, be more creative, and feel more relaxed.
You can also try some of these tactics:
- Schedule time each week to just sit and reflect on your own.
- Take a moment to think about your feelings and what you want to achieve.
- Keep a journal or diary.
- Sit comfortably, focus on your breathing, and avoid letting your mind wander to achieve “mindfulness” through meditation.
- Get to know oneself deeply. Self-discovery isn’t selfish or pointless.
12. They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything
If you feel like the world owes you success, it’s time for a reality check. Social media makes us feel like we deserve more, but that’s not always the case. Feeling entitled can lead to feelings of being a victim when things don’t go your way.
Remember that everyone is traveling their own path and that you are not more worthy or better off than anyone else. Focus on your desired outcome rather than seeking attention and approach feedback from others with an open and respectful demeanor.
13. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results
Today’s culture encourages us to expect instant results. We can often turn to pills for a fast solution, but that’s different from how life works. Having too high of expectations can keep us from seeing our future accurately.
Acknowledge how difficult it can be to make progress. Don’t rush yourself or think your life will suddenly become extraordinary if you accomplish one thing. Focus on your goals, stay patient, and appreciate the small steps you make as you go.
If you can steer clear of these 13 traps, you’ll have a much easier time strengthening your mind. Never let your guard down regarding your behavior, emotions, or thoughts. Feel free to talk to a therapist if something needs to be fixed.